Sebastian's Non-canon diary.

[Sebastian Crane]

Dear Diary,

Today, I saw this weirdo sitting by the river in the joint camp, whittling a duck from a piece of wood.  He was covered in tattoos and looked like he could majorly kick my ass without trying, so I just sat back and watched him play with the duck. Once he was finished, I think I heard him making quacking sounds and then he was pretending that the duck could fly. I don't know what's up with people in this century and their games of make believe, but I sure as hell wasn't going to intervene on this guys game. I did consider asking him where he got his tattoos and whether or not he had a duck tramp stamp, as they seem to call the lowerback tattoos possessed by a majority of the woman that I bang. Woah, wait, this entry wasn't about banging someone.... That's a first.

xoxo 

Sebastian Crane[googlefont=Oswald]

[Sebastian Crane]

Dear Diary,

So earlier today, I banged Felicity again! Boom, pow, yes, yes, I know, I'm the man; I'm the king, etc, etc. I dunno, though, mate, *DOLPHIN NOISES* is getting kind of weird. Right before we did the diddly doo - Judas and I have been watching this show callled The Simpsons and Ned Flanders cracks me up - anyway, right before we did the diddly doo, she was asking me a *DOLPHIN NOISES* ton of questions, like she was trying to actually get to know me or something. I thought this was just a casual game of hide the sausage, but if it starts to become more serious and relationshippy I may have to abort mission and GTFO of this place. Oh, yeah, Judas has introduced me to the internet and these things called memes. They're weird, but funny. Also, did you know that you can go on the line and see naked women? This is truly a beautiful century to live in, despite the weirdo duck carvers and clingy ass women. 

xoxo

Sebastian Crane[googlefont=Oswald]